King of the Burgers

Hank Hill, assistant manager of Strickland Propane found himself in a place he never thought he would venture into… the West Coast. He was unsure about why Buck Strickland needed him of all people to go on this business trip but he kept thinking do it for the Propane. It didn’t help that he had to bring Bobby along with him since the boy was so impressionable. Last thing he wanted was him to get used to this Californian life style. Bobby was looking at a man wearing nothing but the bottom to a bathing suit and roller blades going down the sidewalk. His long blonde hair flowing behind him. Bobby said “wow Dad California is everything I thought it would be!” Hank shook his head and thought to himself that boy ain’t right.

They were almost at their destination. They walked past a funeral home/crematorium. Hank said “what a strange place for a funeral home.” The Funeral Home was right on the main walk. A man came out of the funeral home with a terrible hair piece and walked into the burger place next door. There it was Hank’s destination, Bob’s Burgers. Bobby said “I hope the food is as good as Sugar Foots.” All Hank could say was “hunh.”

Hank and Bobby walked into the restaurant. There were two people sitting at the counter and there were no other customers. I man with a black mustache and a white shirt with a white apron was standing at the counter. The man with the mustache said “hi I’m Bob, were you interested in the burger of the day?” The burger of the day was the Dairy Fairy it said that it came with four different kinds of cheeses. Hank told him “I’m here because I heard that you guys were interested in purchasing some propane, the name is Hank Hill, assistant manager of Strickland Propane. I sell propane and propane accessories.”

The hairy man at the counter said “heck of an introduction huh Bob?” Bob replied “quiet down Teddy.” The man with the hair piece said “do you think I could use propane to run the ovens in my crematorium?” Hank seemed uncomfortable with the question so Bob said to the man in the hair piece “Mort he’s here to sell me propane he can deal with you after.” Bobby began to strike up conversation with the two men at the counter while Hank talked to Bob. “So I think I could probably set you up with a couple of tanks in the back for your grills.”

All of sudden three kids came downstairs, one was a teenage girl who was staring at Hank’s butt. She said “I’ve never seen a butt so flat, it intrigues me.” Hank proclaimed “what?!?” Everyone proceeded to stare at Hank’s butt. Mort and Teddy agreed that it was flat. The larger boy (one of the children who came down) said “sometimes I wish that I had butt that flat, but I think that it would hurt to sit!” he started to play fart sounds on his strange keyboard. This really caught Bobby’s attention. He left the counter with the two men and started to fool around with the other boy. The last child with the bunny ears hat came up to Hank and said “what kind of explosives can you make with propane?” Hank was bewildered, Bobby told the girl with the bunny ears hat “my dad once blew up all the cars in a parking lot.” Hank replied to that “gahh Bobby, you know that was proven to be false!”

Bob was getting frustrated with his kids “Lin!” he screamed, a woman came out and said “what is it Bobby?” Bobby became confused and said “are you talking to me? you have an interesting accent!” Linda said “ooooohhh who’s this kid? he’s so plump and adorable!” Hank told her that he was here to sell propane to her husband. Hank also said “I’m assuming these are your children… they are uh very interesting.” Linda said “thanks birthed them all myself, they call came out from right here!” she pointed towards her crotch. Gene said “I shot out like a slip and slide!” Louise, the girl with the bunny ears said “come on Gene you know that I came out much more easily than you!” Bobby said “Dad was it easy or difficult for mom to push me out?”

Hank shouted “gahhh!!, Bobby outside now!” Linda said “you can’t tell my husband to just go outside!” Bob said “Lin he’s talking to his kid.” Linda said “ohhh.” Bobby frowned and stepped outside. Hank was displeased, once Bobby stepped outside he said “how can you all just let these kids talk like this?” Linda and Bob were offended “our kids may be a little… interesting but you have no right to tell us how to raise our kids!” Gene shouted “how dare you sir!” Tina was too busy staring at Hanks non-butt. Hank said “listen I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you all, but how we get back to propane.”

Bob told Hank that he should leave. Hank left the restaurant. “dang it Bobby I told you, these Californians are strange people.” Bobby seemed bummed. Hank said “I’m sorry son, I know you didn’t want to go back so soon but since this trip was supposed to be for a week maybe we can go see the Cowboys game in Dallas instead.” Bobby smiled and said “sure Dad sounds good.” They left and headed back towards the airport. Hank thought gosh I hate when Buck has me go on these wild business trips.